My Demon

There have been several reasons why I have not posted as of late, but the most prominent one being my demon! I am a smoker, and with the recent price jump, am finding myself unable to afford the habit. I can find many reasons to smoke and many reasons not to smoke. But with the price hike, I no longer have the choice to smoke. Whatever happened to the freedom to choose. Although I am upset over this raise, I know in the long run, it will be a good thing, that I am being forced to quit. But I must say that even when I manage to defeat my demon, I still will feel that the smoker is being treated unfairly. And hickchic thinks that the smoker is treated more like a criminal now, than a US citizen with the right to choose. I am certain, that this blog will meet with some negative thoughts from my readers, and is understandable. But if smokers would just be respectful of nonsmokers, and refrain from smoking in areas where nonsmokers are exposed to secondhand smoke, I think that we could all get along. Nonsmokers are entitled to their choice as well to not be exposed to cigarette smoke. When I became pregnant with my twins, I quit smoking for 12 yrs. Then when my health issues popped up after hitting 40, I did a stupid thing and started back smoking! I know I need to quit, and I need to conquer this demon. So I have been staying very busy. And have been avoiding triggers, which one was being on the computer. Thus why I have not been on as of late. But I hate to report, I broke down yesterday and bought a pack of cigs. But the demon has not won, I will win this battle, she says, as she puffs on her cigarette. I truly believe that it is all in the mind. And once I set my mind to it, I will win. I did really good the first two days. It is that third one that always seems to get me. But perhaps that is only because in my mind, I think this and surrender to this thought. I use my mind to deal with my daily pain, so I know that I can do this...hickchic thinks....it's just a matter of mind rather than time!